Being in Love...

When she is away and you miss her, it is very natural and obvious. but this isn't just enough to know that you are in love. Actually nothing is enough to make sure that you are locked in it or I can say that nothing is required to make you believe that you are a lover. No one but you can tell this thing about you. I can only tell about myself that I am in love with some one. Being is love is actually a divine feeling. Those who fell worship it but those who couldn't get lucky do not believe its existence. It will bring you greatest happiness and deepest sorrow but I can assure you that Being in love is like Being Alive.

Pushker....just write anything!!!

This has become my usual practice to write the blog when I get upset or feel low, when I have so much in my mind but nothing to speak, when I do not want to say anything but except others to understand. I do this many times, I think of a lot of things to write about but when I open this blog, I go blank. But today I have to write something and the reason being someone’s push that “Pushker!! You have to write something today in your blog”. I made an unsaid promise to her that I will follow whatever she will say. So....starting with the things happening around me, Rahul Gandhi and Narendra Modi are top news and both of them had their rallies same day. My joining leaves came to an end today. I visited Hardoi only to see her, rest of the leaves went useless. Tomorrow is a working day and I am very afraid about what will happen tomorrow. I don’t know when I got this habit of being tensed about small things at work. Because of this habit my leaves were total waste as I could not enjoy at all. Seeing her was the only part of this week I am happy about. Moving on....Diwali is just one week away and I can very much feel the festiveness around me. I was also checking out online shopping sites like ebay, flipkart and also the buying and selling sites like OLX and Quickker. Actually I always want to change my mobile phone but I always drop the idea because I get very confused about which phone to buy. Some time I feel like selling my Bike on OLX (Its a Royal Enfield Classic 350 CC). I won’t sell it but I have to sell a few things i.e. Guitar, Computer Monitor. I guess buying and selling is not that easy for me.

About my reading habit, let me tell you that I always want to be an author. I believe to be an author one must read a lot. Currently I have 5 to 6 half read books, I make many efforts to read and finish them, but that doesn’t interest me. I don’t even know that why I want to become an author. Sometimes I enjoy cooking, but when there is no one around who admire this skill or who is a foody, it is very difficult to keep cooking for hobby. Actually I always needed that “PUSH”. In simple words, I am not a self motivated person. This doesn’t mean that I am not a performer; I just need someone to push me forward.

I know it is very negative and depressing kind of content what I am writing but right now this is the only thing what is coming out of this mind and if some one dares to read my blog, he/she must bear this.

Gimme something to write about

I just Googled that " What to write about" and it gave me so many tips like how you can start writing with small topics. Topics like my happiest day, what can i cook, whats under my bed etc. I know that Google really wants to help me out but I just can not digest this fact that I am a starter in writing. This is just i am still scribbling in my mind and finding it very difficult to decide what to write about.
I simply asked one of my friend who is in professional copy editing to give me something to write about but she argued that this will not be joy full to write like this professionally and suggested that i should write of my heart in my blog. She just don't know that my heart is more confused than my mind not only in case of writing but in every thing in life like what to do, where to go, what to eat and lot more like this.
I am reading a lot these days like Paul Coelho, Oscar wilde and many other non famous but not for i am very  much fond of reading, I just want something in my head to talk about, to writing about. I might be travelling to places in next few days for this, Might be. I always scratch my head to coin a idea that i am very much afraid that this may turn me a bald very soon.

how to get rid of FB

Like all the other times..i forgot what i actually turned on the computer for, and now it is just Face book i am into. There are posts, messages, people on chat and so many pictures which somehow make me feel inferior or depressed. I feel that people are enjoying their life at full when i am scratching my head to figure out what i    really want to do to feel better.
One of my old friend turned professional photographer, another is studying overseas and one is hanging out with friends. Oh God why all of it making me feel kind of deprived? I know FB is not the one to be blamed but me. Its like I can make it by myself, its like I need someone to make it right.
Alright first let me sign out from my FB account, i have to make an excuse to the friends on the chat. This happens all the time u know. I turn of the computer for some other piece of work but as an obvious command my hand turn on the FB all of a sudden. Only if i get lucky i don't find any of my friend on chat and  bounce back very soon but often i find some of them hanging out there in my chat box and there starts the sequence of unworthy and unimportant chat sessions.
And u know what i feel, this is not only my problem. Many of my friends have complained me the same way what i am telling you right now. I know the inventor has not made if for this only. Even my brother told me this several times to make good use of it but this is me whom he use to tell this. I am with no hope in this case.
Some times i think of  erasing my FB profile but this will me me almost invisible to the world. I can't do this because i know that this is my only gateway to the other world. So its better to live with it and learn the better way of life.   

A gift from the blue...with love

I did not bother to look at my watch...I did not feel the need to know what time it is....I just rushed out from the door as I heard the music of Rain... I bet this time he tested my patience at its best. One or two days delay could have been the matter of life and death to many. BUT the prayers are finally been heard and HE the great man with a blue umbrella gifted these magical liquid diamonds to the burning heart of earth. I believe many farmers were in much more need than me of this rain....but I was a great competitor in the THE RAIN SEEKER list.
                   I was actually working at that time and was engaged with many important pieces of work but I left everything and ran to be just down the blue; to taste the first rain of this season..... I enjoyed it at full. Thank you...thank you blue for this great gift.....

With Love
One with a burning heart

I don't believe in the process of self introduction or self description. There are billions of people on this earth, millions in my states, many thousands in my city and hundreds in my life. I may be good to one or some people and bad or worst to many others. So what is the use of describing myself and fill the pages with my own praises. I would be better if you came, talk to me, be with me for some time and then find out by your self that what exactly I AM.

No where on earth

I believe, one writes when he has no one around him to speak with. As i am struggling with this key board to bring out the words which could not come out of my mouth. In my life till now, I grown up, I went to school, then college, i switched places, took up a job, left it and then finally landed upon a glorious Public sector job which from the very beginning started to show me sparkling scenes of my well settled future life. Scene was clear, parents proud, relative happy and friends dancing but " Chahe jo bhi ho picture ka trailer to mast banta hi hai, picture chahe jaisi bhi ho." As it happened this so called Govt. job brought me here,
this place is called HARDOI. I had never heard of this place in my entire life of 22 years but now i am here, working, living and surviving. .....